Does that make me a terrible person?

This week has got to be on my Weirdest Weeks of My Life list, and it's pretty high on the list too, I might say. It's also on my Not My Proudest Moments list.

It's Saturday night, 31st October 2009. (I could have left out the year but anyway.) I went clubbing with some of my closest friends and everything was as normal as could be. I guess.

Except of course there was this guy who I'm going to call Nancy.

Because he feels like a Nancy to me.

Okay, that was mean. I'll just call him Apple.

Which is a better name than Mr. A. Piao.

Those of you who follow me on Twitter might remember seeing this before. But anyway --

You know what? I just got a call from this other guy I went clubbing with that same night. I'll call him... Melon.

Those fruit-names aren't sitting well with me. It's just that his name starts with an M.

I guess I'll call him M.

Back to the phone call.

It's midnight and M, the guy who I found out Monday, has a crush on me, calls me. And I totally blow him off.

I think he noticed.

When I picked up the phone, he asked what I was doing.

It's midnight! People are usually sleeping at midnight, dummy!

Maybe not me, but he doesn't know that.

Unless he really knows me.

I seriously doubt it.

So I told him I was sleeping and his call woke me up.

He said, "Oh, you were sleeping?"

Oh, did you have to repeat what I just told you?

I instantly felt bad for lying though. I was actually writing this post (the beginning of it anyway) while watching my new favourite TV Show, House M.D.

But I didn't want to talk to M. He loves talking on the phone for hours without really talking about anything. I didn't mind postponing this update but it kind of bugs me to talk for so long when I can be watching my show.

I mean, I like conversations on the phone, but when I have a show to watch, do not disturb me. I can be very rude and you might end up with a broken heart.

Which is what I think happened to M. Not sure yet.

He started apologising for disturbing me.

And I asked him what was wrong.

I made my voice groggy and all that just to make my lie more believable.

I think he noticed. I don't know if it's me being paranoid about getting caught at lying.

"You weren't home all day today, were you?" he asked.

Like he was testing me or something.

"Why?"

"Didn't see you on-line at all today."

I knew he was going to say that. I actually didn't log on because of him.

But I couldn't tell him that could I? The guy has a crush on me for God's sake!

"I just wasn't on the computer that much."

I could hear him close to asking - why not? What did you do all day? - I had to stop him. Or more lies would have come out of my mouth. "So why did you call?" I asked.

"I just couldn't go to sleep."

So you decided to call me so I couldn't sleep either? Jackass.

Then he kept talking, and I felt so bad for lying to him like that. "Anyway, I'm sorry I called. You should go back to sleep." He sounded miserable, I tell you.

"Yeah okay." I wasn't brave enough to fake a yawn like I was planning to.

I felt terrible and guilty, and so bad that I was blowing him off. See why below.

Three days ago, I think - or was it five? - I told him he had to stop calling me every day.

Ever since he told me he had a thing for me on Monday, he started calling every day, saying that he was determined to make me change my mind about him, and make me like him the way he did me.

He got annoying, and clingy - nobody likes a guy who calls every. single. day. Right?

And if I didn't pick up the phone, he'd call me on another number that I wouldn't recognise - like he was testing if I was avoiding him or if I just could hear my phone ringing.

Truth be told, a friend warned me he might do this so I avoided all phone calls - for a day.

I eventually answered his call at night. I felt bad about ignoring him because I had told him on Monday, that I didn't want things to be different between us. I was 'still his friend who he could call if he needed to talk'.

Stupid of me to have said that.

Anyway, four or five days ago, I finally told him to stop calling me every day. Reason being that it would not help in convincing me to go out with him.

"Okay, I won't call you every day," he promised.

"Not even every two days."

Pause. "Oh." Pause. "Okay."

Ha! I knew he was planning on calling me every two days! He's so annoyingly desperate, I just knew.

I hate clingy guys more than anything.

The thing is, I never knew him like that. I never knew how clingy he could be. Now I see him like this clingy, desperate guy looking for my attention.

Yuck, I hate him like that, I'm not sure I still want things to be normal between us, I just want to go back in time when I was oblivious to this... side of him.

Anyway, that was five days ago. I guess he had every right to call me today. But I blew him off. This is why I felt and still feel terrible and guilty.

I pretended that I was going back to bed when instead I began writing this post about his phone call.

He kept apologising for having woken me up and I could hear in his voice that he understood that I just didn't want to talk to him.

Does that make me a terrible person?

Just because he likes me, I'm trying to push him away?

Actually, I wasn't planning on pushing him away.

See, I usually try to distance myself from the guys who like me but I don't, just so they stop liking me. Does that even make sense?

I think deep down, I do that just to see who fights back, who is willing to fight for me. M did. But he fought like a Nancy.

I didn't like that. So I couldn't help but push him away. Tell me I wasn't too harsh on him?

I think I'll finish this post another time. If I start telling stories about Apple too, it'd be way too long.

M's story isn't even finished yet - that was just the ending.

I think he hates me now.

Also, I noticed when I updated my last post, I stopped getting visits from France. This kind of thing always happens to me. I'll talk about this later too.

I'm not sure how much sense this post made but maybe with my next update it'll become clearer.

I'm going to bed. Goodnight!

You know I'm lying. I'm actually watching House M.D.